Photos of iPhones to Lust Over

Hi guys, Mona here. Lately I have been very interested in photos of iPhones, iPads, and iPods on Pinterest that are the color red. Vera says it's because I have low iron and need to eat more, but I mostly just tune out her blathering. These are some of my favorite pictures.

v-day (vampire's day)

Hey guys its Vera I'm here to post a vampiric valentines day card I made for my brother in blood, Solomon Vampire (see his guest review of Vampire Hunter D). he really does have rats living in his walls.

was hoping to come up with a vampiric valentines day pun to close this out but sometimes my desires surpass my capabilities! comment down below if you can think of one (.)vv(.)

xoxovera

We Rate Vampiric New Yorker Cartoons

Hey guys Vera and Mona again this time we are rating new yorker vampire cartoons and meditating on their symbolic impact. This is the ONLY blog where real vampires will weigh in on contemporary vampire cartoons.

1. 

Vera: I am a big fan of this, classic rivalry at its best, they are so mad at each other but i can tell they are having fun. The werewolf leg reminds me of my own #noshavenovember.... i guess vampires and werewolves really do have something in common after all (hairy legs) ;)

Mona: UM. These freaks? They are NOT fighting. This is NASTY. Moving on.

2. 

Vera: Interview with a vampire? More like interview with a magician amirite lol. Anyways this is so me in an interview except without the top hat.

Mona: I hope this is nighttime because otherwise interviewing a vampire would be very difficult. I can see how the top hat might offer some protection, but it's silly.

3. 

Mona: You're in for a load of trouble, buddy.

Vera: He is probably watching Youtube Shorts.

4. 

Vera: Lol he is so young i am one thousand years old and I would NEVER play pickleball this younger generation has no sense of dignity,

Mona: What's pickle ball?

5. 

Mona: Where are they meeting that would cause this type of interaction to happen? Plus, doctors are famously atheists and vampires hate apples. unrealistic.

Vera: Me when I am trying to trade an apple for a cross but both me and the guy I'm trading with just got pepper sprayed by an unseen third party.

6. 

Mona: He looks more like Spock than Count Orlok.

Vera: The endless march of days into centuries have left him numb to the seductive call of the telephone.

Hope this helps!

xoxo Vera and Mona

An Exercise in Humility

During a brief Cullen-esque stint as high school students, Mona and I were obligated to take part in a group project: a creative presentation of that vampire classic, Bram Stoker's Dracula. Having labored upon this masterpiece–a fourth-wall breaking performance melding history, humor, and theater–for several long days, we were shocked to find our efforts had resulted in a C-. The logic of this unfair judgement eluded us for years, until our original manuscript was unearthed recently and Mona and I read back through it. It was around page 8 of 15 total pages that we realized maybe our class presentation shouldn't have been like, an hour long. 

We welcome you now to step back into the long-ago days of 2019, pull up a chair in our crowded English Literature class, and imagine it is 8am and your classmates are subjecting you to the longest and worst organized class presentation you've yet to suffer through. 

Click here if you're a masochist

xoxo Vera and Mona