Bite Me

Initial Thoughts?

Vera Bradley: Our generation has been blessed with the gothic genius of one Lauren Lee. Having been blessed to be in her presence I can confirm this film is based off of her real life in which she frequently kills and eats annoying boys.

Mona Bloodstick: A delightful foray into the world of short film! We welcome vampires from all walks of unlife.

1: How did this movie handle classic vampire tropes?

VB: Now, technically this is not explicitly a vampire film- however we did also review Jennifer’s Body on this site and the girls eating boys trope is I think inspired enough from vampiric themes/imagery that it counts.

MB: Although not explicitly vampire, the movie follows pretty closely with vampire canon–I especially appreciated seeing that on the date, our heroine did not eat any food while her date managed to both yap on and on and eat all his food.

2: Any good kills?

VB: Yes- a gross frat boy is mercifully killed and enjoyed for dinner with murderous gusto. Now, we don’t actually see the killing, but it is implied with a satisfying THUMP as the Talking Heads’ “Psycho Killer” begins to play (the song blended perfectly with this scene it was very awesome). The one thing I think could have made this better would have been more blood tbh– I would have loved to see some blood splatters on the baddie who dispatched that douchebag, and maybe more on their plates. However I am a glutton for fake blood, and I will also say that having seen some behind the scenes, the making of the fake meat was impressive enough as it is.

MB: Sometimes less is more. I loved the transition to the eating scene.

3: How does this movie deal with the curse of eternal existence?

VB: Again technically these are not explicitly vampires, but if they were I think they’d spend their eternity ridding the world of asshole men one at a time.

MB: They seem cool with it, like they have an apartment and everything (that seemingly belongs to them).

4: Sex appeal?

VB: Yes duh. The whole film is hinging on our protagonist using her sexuality like an anglerfish’s lantern to lure men to their demise.

MB: Oh yes indeedy.

5: Would I want to be a vampire in this universe?

VB: We only see a snippet of the lives of these women but yeah I’m down to hang

MB: Yes but only if I am still a girl and not a dumb frat boy.

Final thoughts?

VB: Impeccable vibes from a short film that gives the awesome aesthetic of girls eating boys without the moralizing tone of Jennifer’s Body. Let them eat men!!!!!! -Lauren if she was Marie Antoinette.

MB: Beautiful and would love to see more forms of short film.

Would this face eat you?

“I’m picking up dinner!”

xx- Mona and Vera