Nosferatu (2024)

Initial Thoughts?

Mona Bloodstick: Is this a good movie? Yes. Is it anything comparable to the original? No. Don’t misunderstand, I did really like this movie, but it just isn’t the cultural phenomenon of the original. 2024’s Count Orlok is very scary, but somehow the suspense and silence of the original makes 1922 terrifying. Something about the grainy camera does the trick for me. 2024 also is not funny. 1922 effortlessly combines humor and horror into a rolling good time. 2024 is too serious. But enough harping on the things that don’t compare to the original. Lily Rose Depp?? I thought she was just a product of nepotism, but she sure proved me wrong!! Every scene where she is tweaking just testifies to her acting ability. I also enjoyed the scenery–very true to the perfection of the original.

I hate to say it, but I do not think Nicholas Hoult was the right choice for this movie. I hate writing that down, because he truly is an amazing actor and also very sexy ngl. But the naivety of the original Fool was an important part, so having his foolishness stripped turns it from, “Geez this guy is a bimbo, of COURSE he would fall for Count Orlok’s plan,” to “seriously?? You really didn’t think anything was up??”.

Vera Bradley: Lily Rose Depp will complicate your feelings on nepo babies in this ambitious take on Murnau’s Nosferatu. Mirroring the original literally shot by shot, Eggers adds depth and dialogue to the wordless classic, but removes all* of the humor. (*Nearly– it was very funny to see Nicholas Hoult sign a contract written entirely in abstract shapes, though the movie didn’t really play it as funny.) Despite this movie’s best efforts to drench itself in dark, serious tones, Mona and I both walked out of the theater agreeing that there just isn’t a way to make vampire movies very scary (an assumption recently challenged by the soon to be reviewed movie Sinners).

1: How did this movie handle classic vampire tropes?

MB: It’s pretty similar to the original in this regard. One thing I really enjoyed was the way Nosferatu eats his victims: by biting the heart. I never really thought about eating people in that way, and it’s a pretty cool twist on things. Less of a vampire movie trope and more of a horror trope, but I knew from the SECOND children were shown on screen that they were gonna die. The scene of them praying cemented this fact in my head even more. I would have been more surprised if somehow they survived.

VB: I thought it was fascinating the way Eggers made Nosferatu’s hold on Ellen parallel demonic possession. This movie is much closer to the Exorcist than it is to Twilight, which does hold fairly well with the original intent of the vampire myth, and sets it apart from other movies in the canon.

2: Any good kills?

MB: Oh yes. Having Orlok bite the heart leads to a plethora of great kills. Not only good in the omg go vampires way, but also in the cool symbolism way.

VB: 4 months later, the image of a gelatinous soup of tissue and blood bubbling up from Ellen’s chest as Orlok feasts still flashes into my mind, unbidden, and each time I feel a revulsion only paralleled by the sound of nails on a chalkboard. In the 2 minutes it has taken me to write this sentence, thinking of that specific moment, I feel as though my brain has curdled.

3: How does this movie deal with the curse of eternal existence?

MB: I’m writing this review several months after watching it, so my memory may be a bit hazy. I don’t think it's that much of a big deal? When Depp goes in for her big showdown with Orlok she isn’t afraid of becoming a vampire. Orlok doesn’t really seem to have feelings.

VB: Pretty much the same as the OG (see our review of the 1922 version), seems as though eternal life corrupts your soul in some irreversible way, meaning you don’t really experience eternity as a human.

4: Sex appeal?

MB: Orlok isn’t very sexy, but there is a pass because a large part of the movie centers around sex. Vera and I missed the very beginning scene, so we were unsure of what necessarily attracted her to Orlok in the first place. There is a sex scene between Lily-Rose Depp and Nicholas Hoult, but it’s kind of weird. Not sure how he was instantly raring to go when all Depp was talking about was Orlok.

VB: No sexy vampires in this movie, though there is still a gratuitous dong shot. Of this shot, Eggers said “I was allowed one penis [for] this movie. He rises out of the coffin naked. That in itself is a bit of a phallic act, as is most of everything that Orlok does in the movie.” (Variety interview)

5: Would I want to be a vampire in this universe?

MB: I wasn’t particularly keen on being a vampire in this universe in the first place, but Vera has recently made me aware of a certain picture of Nicholas Hoult with Count Orlok’s penis. If becoming a vampire means my penis will be as deformed as his? No thanks!

VB: Similarly to the 1922 version, no thank you. To be a vampire here means to be some amalgamation of a zombie and a demon, which doesn’t sound like that good a time to me.

Final thoughts?

MB: A valiant effort to live up to the original. All in all, a good romp in the hay and a must-watch for anyone whose favorite vampire (for some reason) is Nosferatu.

VB: A fun watch, especially in theaters. It’s always good to see Willem Dafoe (who pulled off one of the best performances in the film, despite being a side character), and I had a good time.

"He'll have no sanctuary at cock crow"

- XOXOXOXO Mona & Vera